By Emily Gehman (’12)
“I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew something was missing.”
Like any good pastor, Jon Miklas (‘87, ’91), pastor at Cocalico Community Church in Reinholds, Pennsylvania, was always looking for ways to help people take the next step in their faith. And when he saw the kind of spiritual plateau and concerning nuances in some of the church’s most faithful members, he knew something was missing. But he didn’t know it was missing in his own life, too.
A Crowbar of Grace
“As long as my wife and I have been married, we’d been to marriage conferences,” Miklas said. “You name it, we’ve done it.”
They were solid. They’d walked couples through pre-marital counseling and had a great thing going. But about 17 or 18 years into their marriage, his wife told him that even though he did a lot of good-husband things, she didn’t feel loved by him. Something was missing.
So Miklas committed to pray more, read more, study more and do more, but to no avail. He brought it up to the counselor he’d been to once or twice before, and that launched a counseling journey that helped him see what was missing.
Miklas was able to process some pain and anger he didn’t realize he’d suppressed for so long. In fact, he had been satisfied with the fact that he’d only ever been angry twice in his life—or so he thought, until the counselor said Miklas was one of the angriest people he’d ever met.
“The door to my emotions was dead-bolted shut,” Miklas said. “And God pried that open by His mercy and grace.”
Gospel-Centered Transformation
Miklas slowly began to see that God created people as holistic beings, but humans have a tendency to ignore a large portion of themselves. It’s kind of like the part of an iceberg that’s underwater; you can’t see it, and it’s easy to ignore. But what’s under the water requires attention, just as the Titanic’s cautionary tale advises. A lot of what’s under the proverbial water are the human emotions—something intrinsically part of every human because we’re all made in the image of God.
“When we don’t acknowledge the pain, we miss the redemptive power of Jesus caring about us,” Miklas said.
As Miklas became more and more healthy both emotionally and spiritually, he saw how incredibly transformational it could be for the people in the church. Emotional health isn’t a phrase you hear much in churches, because it can, ironically, swing in some unhealthy directions.
“We don’t let emotions drive the car,” said Roddy Hannah (’98, ‘07), Cocalico associate pastor. “But we sure recognize that they’re there.”
Miklas and Hannnah see it as a practical outworking of their solid theological foundation—something Miklas says Clarks Summit University gave him and still gives students today. Spiritual and relational health are an application of the theology they believe for every day and every relationship.
Caring for Each Other
Miklas and the Cocalico staff knew that working toward spiritual and emotional health was not something they could keep to themselves; it was time to share it, especially amid the farming community’s stoicism.
“If we were committed to a mission that was going to help people have a life-changing relationship with Jesus, we want it to change every part of their lives, not just what they show us on Sunday,” Miklas said.
So in 2016, Cocalico Community Church launched two resources for their church and community: Emotionally Healthy Relationships and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. And they began to see a change in people. Not overnight, and maybe in small increments, but a change nonetheless. Miklas said there’s no other description for it than “daily transformational.”
“When you find yourself with nowhere else to go, God wants to meet you in a place you’ve never met Him before,” Miklas said.
The courses have changed the culture at Cocalico Community Church, and Hannah says part of it is simply caring for each other.
“You feel heard, you feel understood,” he said. “It doesn’t mean everybody agrees with me. It’s just super encouraging when you can walk out of a conversation and just feel like you matter.”
Both Miklas and Hannah said their spiritual development through the practical outworking of theology has changed and enhanced the way they relate in their marriages, families and ministries. For the better.
“It has helped me get out of my head,” Hannah said. “It’s helped me become a better parent in that I hear my kids differently. It has helped me become a better husband, in that I’m more engaged with my wife, and it’s helped me with people.”
Find What’s Missing
When Miklas set out to find what was missing, he had no idea what was about to happen. He just knew something wasn’t quite right.
“I knew there was something deep inside that God wanted to do in my heart,” he said.
Once that deadbolt was busted off, he could truly express his heart to his wife. His emotions were still emerging and growing, but now, Miklas said, they came from his heart and not just his head. He began to vividly experience the depths of joy and even sorrow, allowing him to minister to people with authenticity and empathy, something he said he’d never been able to do before. It changed everything.
Ultimately, finding the emotional health that was missing has transformed the way Miklas, Hannah, the Cocalico staff and community relate and commune with God. They want people to know that the daily transformation that happens in their lives through this practical theological outworking can happen in their lives, too. They believe anyone can find what’s missing, too.
